It's amazing how long people have to wait for good things to happen to them, and how ironic things can be. I won't go into very deep details, but I will say that for the last eighteen years of my life (practically as long as I have been alive), I had always questioned the reason for my existance on this planet, from being constantly abused by both my parents to watching my mother murder my brother to dealing with her two near-death incidences. I have always blamed myself for everything and my father doesn't help much. This was all weighing on my mind until the other day.
My mother had a severe brain injury while serving her time in prison a few years ago, which still to this day is causing her brain to deteriorate more and more, and which now gives her the mentality of a three year old (we almost lost her last year and it affected my school work a little as well as my emotions). So she sued a pharmecy for some certain meds that we believed caused her stroke and she won a settlement.
You ask where I'm going with this? Let me explain... My mothers settlement money is enough to take care of her for the rest of her life, but she can never again take care of her self for obvious reasons once she gets out of jail. So I agreed to take care of her as her guardian (my mother's mother in a sense) and live with her in a house on some old property we have. That does mean careful monitoring, giving her meds, getting her clean, dressed, getting her to bed, and feeding her. It's gonna be hard during the day, because I still want to work. But I won't have to pay mortgage and very little taxes.
It's no different than when I worked with my handicapped kids over the summer, and I have plenty of experience with caring for people, and until she gets out, I will have the house to myself. I just have to wait 'till we have a house to put on the property. Thank you God for finally answering my prayers!!
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Congratulations! And welcome to the world of blogging. It was great to see you yesterday, and from our brief conversation it appears you are doing well for yourself. I cannot wait to read the remainder of your blog. I’m so proud of you it brings tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat.
My wife, in some similar but not really all that similar way, attempted the same thing you are contemplating with your mother. My wife took care of her parents, one then the other, while they were withered away by cancer. She rarely talks about her experiences with them during their end stages of life. What she has talked about is the guilt she felt by not being able to take care of them like they needed. She nearly drove herself to death caring for them and, by consequence, ignored her own health, employment, friends, and family. It has taken her over a decade to “catch up” on her own life.
Eventually her parents were placed in long-term care where they could receive the medications, personal care, and adult company they needed. The decision to do this was hard, but it had to be done for her parents and for her sanity’s sake. God will provide if you believe in Him and His Son. But He’s going to provide when and only when He knows you are ready. Remember, God never puts anything more on your plate than you can handle, and He always gives you an out.
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